Posted by: Fr. C. | May 2, 2012

Alternative Energy

There is a source of alternative energy: Korans.  Not only do the korans, printed with volatile ink on relatively cheap paper, provide an intense heat source, but, if we can find a way to harness the emanations from various imams whenever one of these little “books of peace” attains to a combustible level.

For example, it seems that the Iranian Foreign Ministry, a bastion of sober thought and tolerance, has issued a statement  condemning a U.S. pastor for “insulting the Koran”  and has emphasized that the “U.S.  government should apologize to the Islamic world as soon as possible.”  Undoubtedly, in our current administration’s Department of Apologies they are getting right down to it, let’s read on.

According to Fars news agency, the Islamic Republic of Iran’s Foreign  Ministry issued a statement with regards to a Koran burning incident in  America as follows:

“The Islamic Republic of Iran’s Foreign Ministry strongly condemned this  absurd, insulting and provocative act by a so-called US pastor in openly  insulting the holiness of the Koran, Prophet Muhammad’s (peace be upon him)  miracle, and considered it an act in line with the failed project of the fight  against Islam and Islamophobia by those who plan wars among civilizations and  religions in the United States and the West.”

Wow!  Imagine the reaction if he had openly taunted the book: “Hey, yo’ Koran, yo’ mama!”  Or perhaps something Latinate, classical and vaguely Churchillian, “Hey Koran, O Koran, Koran…your mother.”

The statement adds: “Undoubtedly, such absurd actions by the American pastor  will lead to religious hatred and anger and detestation of Muslims around the  world. This doubles the US government’s responsibility for not taking any  action to prevent such extreme measures.”

Uh, guys.  We know that Sharia is unencumbered by the First Amendment.  Over here, we have to endure images of Jesus immersed in urine, the blessed Virgin immersed in urine, and virtually anything immersed in urine. One has to wonder about the number of beer parties being held amongst the artistic left. No matter.  Funny though, they don’t seem to accord the same urological enthusiasm with respect to the venerable Koran.

Back to the story: “while strongly condemning such offensive actions in America, which take  place under different excuses and with propaganda and media support each time,  the Islamic Republic of Iran’s Foreign Ministry is of the opinion that the  international community is expecting an urgent, strong and explicit reaction by  the American government in confronting the elements behind this incident and to  take clear and practical measures for preventing such cultural crimes from  happening again.”

Yeah.  We’ll get right to that condemnation bit.  Right after we have a few beers and…well…express ourselves artistically.

Ah, but here is the rub: “Based on previous experiences and not having  hope in any actions by Western politicians, particularly American politicians,  in preventing such cultural disasters from happening again, the Islamic  Republic of Iran urges the authorities and scholars of the Christian world,  those who believe in religious tolerance and religious dialogue, and the elite  and officials of Islamic countries, particularly the Organization of Islamic  Cooperation to announce their position with regards to this action against  Islam and the US government’s silence toward it, and prevent such actions which  lead to initiation and increase of cultural hatred and therefore, weaken or  even threaten global peace and nations’ prosperity.”

So, there it is: the elite, the tolerant, and the officials of Islamic countries, all together again for a big round of condemnation.  Wow.  Another source of alternative energy.  All we need is a bit of wood to get it going.

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